Before I get old & boring.....

# 94 See Your Name in Print

2010-08-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

I have always been a bookworm. I think I could read before I went to school and now own far more books than is decent. As I've always had such admiration for writers I've long harboured a fantasy to be one. I'll admit that this blog is a training ground for me to practice my skills, build my confidence and generally get into the habit of writing regularly.

It's one thing to write a blog though, on a web space that you yourself have created. This blog doesn't have a counter on it so I can't even tell if anyone's actually reading it. In fact, now I'm thinking about it, this sort of writing is quite self-indulgent and egotistical. No-one asked me to write this, and no-one can stop me. Unless I break the law in some hideous literary fashion.

Convincing someone to print your work, however, demonstrates a certain level of ability at engaging the reader. And being asked, or even better, commissioned, to write for a publication is something of an achievement.

So, you might imagine I was pretty pleased to be asked to write a piece for a healthcare journal. Well, the charity I work for was asked and I volunteered myself for the job. But since I'm the only full time employee there was a degree of inevitability to it. As you may know, or recall from previous posts, the charity I work for supports people who've had stoma surgery. People like me. Except these days I don't need support, I'm the one doing the supporting. The piece we were asked to write was to focus on ways of dealing with stoma surgery positively. I loved this brief and took to the task with relish. Luckily the editors liked what I wrote and printed it. And gave me an honorarium for doing it (which I, of course, donated back to Ostomy Lifestyle).

You may well be curious to read this piece now....well, thanks to the interweb, you can. http://issuu.com/chartermagazine/docs/_1869046 (pgs 5 & 6)

Enjoy! (And I'd love to know what you think....help this writer grow!)

#31 Host a Party

2010-07-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

You may be aware that I had an important birthday not long ago. I felt that turning 30 definitely warranted a proper celebration being organised. I'm an organiser. It's just something I do. I organise things. I organised a cleaning rota for me and my siblings to help Mum out when I was younger. I organised a Coast-to-Coast charity bike ride with 9 riders that raised over £4500. I organise the husband. Full stop. So, I certainly felt qualified to organise a party. I even managed to knock up some invites....

Not just any party though. A whole weekend long series of shenanigans.

I grew up in the West country, went to university in Cardiff (with people from all over the place) and am now living in Hampshire. The net result of this is that my friends are scattered to the 4 winds. I decided the best way round this would be to hire a large farmhouse in Somerset which was roughly equidistant for everyone on the guestlist. Here it is. Nice isn't it?

And it had a hot tub...

13 of us gathered on the Friday evening and played a board game I'd invented and the husband had brought to life with some natty artwork:

The board game is described in more detail in Thing to Do #45 Invent a New Game. So, I won't say any more about it here. Suffice to say it was a hoot.

But the main event was the H-Party on Saturday night. Yes, all the guests were asked to dress as something beginning with H....
We had (in no particular order) - Helen of Troy (that was me that was), Holly Golighty (from Breakfast at Tiffanys), Hoff (as in, The Hoff, as in David Hasselhoff, as in him with the hairy chest from Baywatch), Harold Shipman (yup, as in the mass murderer), several Hawaiian lovelies, a hooker, a hare, Henry hoover,a highwayman, a hangman, a hostess (as in air), a hippy, a hiker, not one but two horses (of the inflatable variety, that's right, inflatable), the list just goes on and on....

I made pots of chilli, people drank lots of boozes and a riotous time was had by all. The book asks what games we played. It's a kids book so....we didn't get round to playing any of the games they suggest...next time maybe.

People drifted to bed (or at least sleep, I'm sure at least 2 people passed out in inappropriate places) well into the wee hours. You don't need me to tell me how the Sun was passed do you? Well, just in case, rather a crowd of us went to the pub for Sunday lunch. Could have seen that one coming eh?!

#73 Have a Sleepover

2010-04-25T03:22:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned in thing to do #20 (Stay up all night) I went to, or hosted, a lot of sleepovers when I was a teenager. I can't really remember what we did at them. Watched videos? Ate junk food? Giggled a lot I expect, that's a staple in the teenage female behavior pattern isn't it? We probably talked about boys too. Oh, and pillow fights - probably plenty of them too.

Usually we slept in the living room of whoever's house it was. We'd bring our sleeping bags and pillows and sprawl out. Now that I'm picturing it other activities are coming to mind - ghost stories! In fact, scaring each other witless was par for the course it seems as I recall most of the films we watched were horrors. The book suggests other activities which I'm sure we never did - playing computer games for example. That would almost certainly have meant prising games consoles away from our brothers, which would have been nigh on impossible. We didn't do makeovers either, that I can recall. There was usually someone who wanted to be sensible and go to sleep early and then there'd be the one who wanted to stay up all night - I know that was me on at least one occasion. Do teenage girls still do sleepovers I wonder? Have teenage boys ever done them? God, I think we even used to sit and read?! I was part of a peculiarly bookish group of friends. I think sleepovers might have functioned as a sort of book swapping club. And when I say books I largely mean 'Sweet Valley High' books. Good, all American stories about twins Elizabeth and Jessica who were good looking, blonde, popular, smart and had boyfriends who were quarterbacks. I'm sure I never knew what a quarterback was. Even now I'm not sure... God, do girls still read these books? There's bound to be a new trend now - probably something involving vampires. Please let it be something more literary and less stereotypical than Sweet Valley High. Not that it did us any harm, I still went on to get a degree in English Literature after all.

Yes, I've found a photo that proves we read books and were generally sedate and mature at our sleepovers:

Anyway - sleepovers - good clean fun. Long may they reign.

#42 April Fool Someone

2010-04-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

I had thought that I wouldn't get to do an April Fool as my 30th birthday falls 2 days before 1st April. As it turned out I still didn't really manage it as I was so unwell on the day. I picked up a gastro virus from somewhere which would have been unpleasant enough but as I lack a colonic buffer zone (see #15 Fart & Burp) the bug caused me to lose very large amounts of fluid in a very short space of time. This made me feel most peculiar so April Fools were the last thing on my mind.

I eventually remembered what day it was when the husband got in from work. In a vain bid to salvage the day and meet my challenge I told him he had a boogie hanging from his nose. He was fooled enough to wipe said nose but scoffed at me when I gleefully informed him of my hoax. Apparently it doesn't count if you play a prank after midday?! In fact, in that case the fool is on you....oh no.

I've never really liked April Fools, or Halloween for that matter. Why do people suddenly feel justified in being complete rotters just because the calendar shows a particular date?
"Why have you thrown eggs and flour all over my windows?"
"It's Halloween!"
"Oh yes, of course, how stupid of me. Ha ha! What larks! Do carry on!"
As if.

I'm clearly too old and boring to carry this on off, although I can't say I remember playing many April Fools when I was young and funfilled either. Maybe it's more a matter of being too darn nice.

30 on the 30th?.....

2010-04-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

So, the observant amongst you will realise that my 30th birthday has been and gone and I categorically failed to achieve my 101 things to do. I knew that this would happen and came to terms with it a few weeks back. Disappointing as it was, I decided not to be overcome but to take positive action. I made an active decision that I would continue the challenge, despite the impending birthday, and plans are afoot to make sure I do!

Many things got in the way of completing the challenge, my actual birthday being one of them. I organised a mammoth celebratory weekend with friends and the time involved in this basically ate into my 'things to do' time. I had planned to get straight back on the horse after my birthday but then I caught a gastro virus which laid me up in hospital for the entire bank holiday weekend with severe dehydration and kidney niggles. Excuses all, I know, but that's the crux of it. Now it's back to business and, by hook or by crook, I will tick each and every last thing off my list. So, prepare yourselves, it's not over yet....

And yes, thank you - I had a lovely birthday and I'm very happy and proud to be 30. And you'll get to read all about that weekend long celebration in an upcoming post, oooooooh!

#11 Get Your School Involved in a World Record Attempt

2010-03-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Since I'm not actually at school anymore I figured the way to complete this challenge would be either to attempt to break a record by myself or get involved in one that someone else is organising. I had a quick look at the Guinness World Records website and found surprisingly little of interest and quickly realised that trying to break a record by myself could be really hard. I'm just not that good at anything...

I missed a perfect opportunity a month or so back when the BBC were attempting a tree planting record breaker. It would been really easy and ticked off 2 things to do in 1 go (as another of my things to do is to plant a tree) but I was working the day it was happening so it wasn't a go-er. So, imagine my delight when I saw an advert on TV for the Sport Relief Hoopathon! Hula Hoops (they of potato snack and Caz's ultimate hangover cure fame) were going for the world record by getting 1000 people hula hooping simultaneously for 2 minutes. I thought that sounded fairly straightforward and maybe a bit of fun too. I signed myself and my sis up for it and went and bought myself a sparkly hula hoop from a local toy shop. I was utterly dismayed when I got home and discovered that my childhood ability to hoop had abandoned me completely. I watched youtube videos and still couldn't master it. I took the hoop to my sister's and she experienced an equal lack of success. Uh-oh.

Time went by and each time I tried it again the results were the same..... The day of the Hoopathon dawned. Things didn't start well. I set off for Bristol, on the wrong motorway. Don't ask me how. Had to do a cross country mission from the M3 up to Reading to join the M4, which I should have been on to start with. Duh. So, that made me late. We were told to be at the Hoopathon at 11am to register and warm up etc for the record attempt at 12noon. I didn't even get to Becky's until 11.10am. Then we couldn't find anywhere to park. And ended up parking miles away and getting there really late. But, at this stage we weren't actually that worried. We were totally convinced we couldn't hula so it'd just be a wheeze to show ourselves up. However, things were about to change. We signed in and collected our hoops and immediately realised that the hoop we'd been using was seriously undersized.

We set ourselves up in the midst of lots of supple people hooping effortlessly and thought - 'what the heck, let's give it a go anyway'. My word. What a surprise to discover that, with the right sized hoops, we could actually do it! They did a mock 2 minute hoopathon and Becky was delighted to complete it without letting the hoop drop. Mine went down at the 1 minute mark but I was starting to feel just a little bit confident that I might be able to do it. Getting into a good rhythm is key so we got ourselves going 10 seconds before the 2 minutes started. I found a tuft of grass to focus on and timed my hooping to match the beat of the music they were playing. I didn't dare look up. If I'd caught Becky's eye it could all have gone wrong, in shape of much giggling. We were both going strong at the 1 minute mark. I told myself not to get cocky, just stay in the zone and think positive. 30 seconds to go....both still hooping like good 'uns. I had churned the grass beneath me up a bit during the warm up and I felt my foot slip. Argh! What to do? Move my foot back and risk further slippage? No, I just refocused on the new stance and kept going. Phew, close one. But then - disaster! At 15 seconds I noticed Becky's hoop drop. I saw it slip down towards her knees and then on beyond the point of recovery. I wanted to console her but only had a few seconds left. I knew she'd want me to carry on so I sucked it up, dug deep and hooped like never before. I had to concentrate hard during the 10 second countdown lest the excitement get the better of me and cause me to blunder. Victory! Flipping nora - I only went and broke a world record didn't I?! Well, not just me obviously but still. Poor Becky. So disappointed. I could tell she wanted to be pleased for me but really was just gutted she hadn't managed it. I feel it was just bad luck as she was easily capable but got distracted right at the crucial moment and let it slip away. Those of us who were successful signed the record logbook and went home feeling mighty proud. Sorry Becks, but it is a good feeling!

And, just in case you're not convinced, here's me warming up!

#5 Learn How to Ask Someone Out (and How to Dump Them)

2010-03-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's not a secret that I made the first move towards the husband and me getting together. It happened in a night club in Cardiff. I had just moved there to start my degree at the university and was investigating the local facilities with my friend Jenna (who you've heard me mention before). We were meant to be meeting another friend in a club called Zeus (I know, cheesy or what?) but she didn't turn up so we were left to try and salvage something of the night. A hilarious misunderstanding ensued wherein I thought Jen fancied 'the guy in the blue shirt'. So we shimmied our way over in that general direction so she could dazzle him with her moves. Since she seemed to be taking her time getting around to it I amused myself eyeing up his mate. I remarked to Jen 'that guy with the blonde hair is a bit of alright' which left her very confused since what she apparently said to me was in fact 'what about you and that guy with the blonde hair?' Oh, the topsy turvey world of nightclub miscommunication!

Anyway, I struck up conversation with 'the guy with blonde hair' and, being a forward sort of hussy, extracted his phone number from him. I had a moment or two of dilemma the next day trying to decide whether to call him or not, but, encouraged by my friends (Jen again...) I made the call. From that point on the poor bloke had no chance. A 2nd date was arranged and the rest, as they say, is history - more than 11 years of it in fact.

So, part 1 of this thing accomplished. Since I'm not keen to dump the husband (he's splendid) I'm going to have to drag up truly ancient history and recount a slice of my romantic past. I have only ever had to 'dump' one boyfriend. That doesn't mean I was dumped by the others, it was more like, we parted on mutually agreed terms. I went out with Gareth when I was 17 and he was really very sweet. Unfortunately he lived on the opposite side of the county and we only saw each other at college. Neither of us did anything mean to the other but at some point I decided it wasn't going anywhere (although I'm not sure where a 17yr old ever thinks a relationship is going) so I finished with him. I don't think I was particularly unkind in my breaking up. I did it face to face and we remained friends and if I were to see him now I'm confident we'd be pleased to see each other and have kind words to exchange. And I think that counts as a success as far as 'dumpings' go, don't you? And Gareth, if you're reading this - Hi! Hope you're keeping well! Be nice to see you next time I'm down.

#17 Act in a Play

2010-03-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

In order to do this 'thing' contemporaneously (i.e. in the present day) I would probably have had to join an amateur dramatics group [shudder]. Apologies to any am-drammers reading this. It's nothing personal, I just find all that stuff a bit cringy.

Luckily I was more into it when I was younger. I had a minor speaking part in St Ives Junior School's production of 'Annie, Get Your Gun'. I had chorus parts in 'Grease' and 'Little Shop of Horrors' at St Ives Secondary School and a more interesting part in a play called 'Hell's Mouth'. Our drama teacher wanted to move away from the traditional productions and try something new. I was genuinely completely mystified about what the hell was going on throughout the play at the time, and looking back at this photo of the cast does absolutely nothing to shed any light on it:

I'll save you time - I'm the one in the front row in the middle. Wearing the red gloves and hat. No really. My character was called 'G & T'. How prophetic. I basically came on swigging from increasingly large bottles of gin and had to act more and more drunk as the play went on. I have no idea why. I think I was one of 5 'posh ladies' who all behaved obnoxiously for one reason or another. I remember one of the others was called 'Sensible Footwear'. Crumbs. It was a really strange play.

I feel fairly sure I'd make a good actress. It's just a shame that theatre groups make you do all sorts of stupid 'warm-up' exercises, like pretending to be a lion or an elephant. 'Warm-up' my bum, it's clearly a ploy to see who'll be suitable for the really humiliating roles. I mean honestly, can you imagine Sir Ian McKellen crawling around on all floors using his arm as a trunk?! No, if there was a way to bypass all that tosh I'd be picking up my Oscar this time next year. In the meantime I'll stick to writing for my creative outlet, that only needs to be as humiliating as I make it. Which, based on the evidence above, is already humiliating enough.

#8 Learn to Play an Instrument

2010-03-17T13:56:00.000-07:00

Like many school children in Britain I learnt to play the recorder when I was little. Being a smarty pants I learnt to play not only the standard descant recorder, but also the treble recorder, which is larger and has a more mellow, less trill sound. This meant I got to look clever and interesting in the recorder group, and play the harmony parts, which were, in fact, often easier than the melody.

My parents encouraged all of us to learn additional instruments. My brothers learnt the clarinet, my sister played the flute and I learnt the violin. Which was the hardest one. Categorically. Now I'm not just saying that to make excuses for not being very good. String instruments are really hard to play. With woodwind instruments like the flute or clarinet you basically either hit the note or you don't. Ok, you might mis-blow, but provided your finger covers the pad more or less, you'll get the note. With strings like the violin or cello there are many degrees in between. You need to plonk your finger on the string in exactly the right spot, half a millimetre either side and it's going to sound flat or sharp - e.g. horrible. And you need to have the string tensioned correctly in the first place too - if not you can put your finger in the right place and it'll still sound horrible. And then you need to master your bowing technique, which means drawing the bow across the strings in the correct manner and matching the speed you move the bow to the speed you move your fingers. Sound complicated? That's because it is.

Here's me demonstrating my skills after my first lesson:

The violin is a classic instrument. By which I mean the music written for violins is mostly classical, and written millions of years ago. It's not funky stuff like that which saxophonists get to belt out. As a teenager I don't really think I understood the music, which doubtless made a difference to how I played it.

I wouldn't say I was ever that good, but I played in several orchestras and passed my Grade 5 violin exam. I even played lead violin in a string quartet. Mum used to wheel me out to play in all the charity concerts she organised. So I must have been making a reasonable noise. I stopped playing when I went away to university so the husband had never heard my talents. Until we found some old cassette tapes recently and played one marked 'Helen Violin'. The husband's gob hit the floor when he heard a beautiful rendition of 'Chanson de Matin'. I couldn't believe how good I sounded and felt a bit gutted that I'd given it up. After 2 or 3 more wonderfully executed pieces there was a recording of a metronome setting a rhythm and that's when I realised that the tape was one my violin teacher had made to help me prepare for an exam. And yes, it was her playing, not me. Oh no. That was disappointing.

Still, I learnt an instrument and hope when I have children they will find an instrument they like to play - maybe a more forgiving one than the violin but as long as they have fun making some noise I'll be happy!

#77 Make your Own Greetings Cards

2010-03-13T08:50:00.001-08:00

This seems like a nice thing to do. Lots of people have got into making cards. My friend Emma makes cards for every occasion for her family and friends. I have made cards featuring cross-stitch embroidery in the past but as I've recently acquired lots of beads for making jewellery I thought I'd try my hand at making cards featuring beads. And these are the results:

Choosing greetings cards from nice shops is fun too. I'm not generally a fan of your Clintons' breed of cards, I like to buy from bookshops or Paperchase, where you can find arty ones or unusually funny ones. Choosing cards is a bit of an art form and can say more about how well you know the recipient than the present you give them. I often keep nice greetings cards for my Inspiration Box at work. This is a box of postcards and other images collected to provide motivation, inspiration and/or soothing thoughts in times of stress or trial. It's always nice to pick through and find an image that 'speaks' to you to keep on your desk for the day. So, next time you get a birthday card that you like don't just put in the bin, or even the recycling bin, keep it and pin it up somewhere to make you smile again and again.

#52 Learn to Swim

2010-03-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

I have a certificate from a primary school swimming lesson that says 'Helen swam 5 metres, with aids'. Hmmmm. I think this means arm bands but I'm not sure it's what certificates would say these days.

I didn't really take to swimming like a duck to water. In fact it wasn't until my family moved to Cornwall when I was 10 that I got the hang of it. Dad knew about this huge rock pool that was deep and incredibly salty, but not actually very big, so ideal for learning to float and gain confidence. We didn't have a town swimming pool in those days but a local hotel had a small one which never got busy so I learnt to swim greater distances there. Nowadays I quite like swimming as a form of exercise and also enjoy going to a class called Deep Water Running which involves wearing webbed gloves and a float belt and then, yes that's right, running through the water. Sometimes our instructor makes us use these long floaty things that look like psychedelic wotsits. I'm often not very good at the peculiar exercises we do with these things but my efforts cause considerable mirth which is no bad thing.

The book asks if I can...
Float? Well, yes I suppose so. I once did a flotation session at a local spa. That was lush. Super salty.
Doggy paddle? I believe I have moved past doggy paddle and now swim in a slightly more sophisticated fashion.
Crawl? Yes, but not 'properly' where you mostly have your face in the water and all that jazz. Kind of a Hellie-variant I guess.
Breaststroke? Well, this is de rigueur for most swimmers isn't it?
Butterfly? Er, no. This is that mental one where you bob in and out of the water like a demented jack-in-a-box isn't it? Yeah, that looks like it has huge potential for lung fulls of water and messed up shoulders. No thanks.
Backstroke? Yep. Don't tend to bother but it's quite a nice way to ring the changes.
Diving? Hmm, no - I've never even attempted diving so far as I can recall. I once had fun watching the husband and my brothers trying to out-do each on the diving skills in France. That was as close as I've ever come. There's simply nothing about diving headfast into anything other than bed that even remotely appeals.
Snorkelling? I am very fortunate that I learnt to snorkel in the Caribbean. The husband taught me when we were in Panama not all that long ago. We were staying on the Bocas Del Toro islands and kayaked out to Hospital Point where there is a coral reef. We parked up on a teeny beach and after a short lesson and much squealing and false starts on my part I finally got round to putting my head under the water.

I'm so glad I did too. I genuinely could not believe how much was going on under the water. Looking down from above you might be lucky to see the odd fish or two but the second you put yourself in their environment you see that the place is literally teeming with life. Especially on a coral reef. And the noise! The crackling sound of fish munching was incredible. I did freak out at one point when I felt something swim up my shorts and as I was over coral reef and didn't want to put my feet down in case I damaged the fragile environment, I swam like billy-o for the beach much to the husband's amusement. I didn't discover what it was but it stang me on my shin and I still have the scar to prove it :( Snorkelling might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people but it was a challenge for me so I think I have earned my star for this one.

#68 Take Part in a TV Show

2010-03-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not a fame hungry wannabe. The idea of being on TV, simply for the sake of being on TV doesn't appeal. However, when I was a child I was picked out (for my budding intellect and camera friendly looks I assume) to be on a show called 'Corners'. I'll forgive you if you haven't heard of this program. It was a BBC children's program in the 80s. Viewers would submit questions which the presenters, aided by the occasional rising child star (i.e. someone like me) would answer. I know, it sounds riveting doesn't it. Why don't they make telly like this any more?

I promise I'm not making this show up - look it's in Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corners_(TV_series)

What I can't prove, however, is that I was actually on it. I have searched YouTube and the BBC iPlayer to no avail. I was at Swimbridge School in North Devon at the time and Sophie Aldridge and the camera crew filmed me explaining to the breathless masses what a computer was. Remember, this is 1987 we're talking about here - people honestly didn't know what they were then. Neither did I actually, I had simply learnt a script that I recited when they said 'Go'.

So that's it. My 15 seconds of fame. I know it's not that impressive. Sorry about that.

#48 Watch These Films and #49 Read These Books

2010-03-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

For this thing to do the book gives 2 very long lists of classic films and books that the authors think all kids (and adults) should watch and read. There are some real beauties in the lists. ET, Flight of the Navigator, The Goonies, The Lord of the Rings and The Star Wars series' are my personal picks from the film list.

The Chronicles of Narnia series, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, the Adrian Mole and Harry Potter books are all favourites that I agree every one, of any age, should read.

I can't claim to be able to tick off all the titles, there are a few I've never heard of: Paper Moon? (film) Kite Rider? (book) Thief Lord? (book) Christmas Story? (book) And there are a few that I've always meant to catch up with but haven't got round to yet - Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Swallows and Amazons for example. So, the list has prompted me to go back and fill in some gaps.

My assumption when I first glanced at both lists was that I would be able to tick off more of the books than the films but I was surprised to find it was the other way round. I was an avid reader when I was a kid, still am in fact. I love buying second hand books and tend to hoard them. I can't wait for the day I live in a big enough house to have a library where I can surround myself with my beloved tomes. Interestingly, a lot of the titles cross over both lists. I guess children's literature lends itself to film as it is often highly visual. I'm always a little hesitant about watching film versions of books that I've enjoyed in case they end up being a let down. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is an all-time favourite read of mine and neither the Gene Wilder nor the Johnny Depp film versions really float my boat (much as I love Johnny Depp). Some films get it spot on though. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, for example, was made absolutely real for me through the films. I like a film version to bring the book alive, whilst retaining the plot, characters and essence from the page. I often find myself picturing how a book would look on screen and have wondered how one gets into writing screen plays. Something for me to look into once the blogging days are over perhaps...

So, I can't say I'll have watched all the films or read all the books they list before I'm 30 but I've certainly ticked off more than half and will enjoy working my way through the rest over the coming months or years.

#54 Be a Daredevil

2010-03-10T10:49:00.000-08:00

I shuddered at the sight of this one. A daredevil is most distinctly something I am not. It's not so much that I'm scared of trying new things, I am just very aware of my limitations and am not imbued with a strong desire to push them. Ok, I suppose I'm a wuss.

However, as I'm determined to complete my 101 things to do I asked people to dare me and these are the suggestions I got:

- shave off the husband's eyebrows while he sleeps (rejected - he wouldn't be that bothered)
- eat 2 litre tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream (tempting but rejected as it's something I already do without thinking twice)
- wear my underwear over my clothes for a day (rejected - what? you're surprised?!)
- wear my clothes back to front for a day (rejected - although I did consider it..)
- put on an accent on the phone at work for a day (rejected - I run a telephone helpline for God's sake!)
- eat only raw food for a week (rejected - kind of thing I might try for health reasons so not really daring enough)
- dress like Lady Gaga on a night out (rejected - too easy, people wouldn't realise I was even doing a dare)
- stand in a busy place with a sign saying 'Hug Me' (rejected - too much potential for creepy people to take advantage, although if other people got on board I might be interested in group work)
- eat as many donuts as you can, without licking your lips - ACCEPTED!!!!

Now this is my kind of dare! I bought a bag of 12 mini donuts today, covered in cinnamon sugar they were, mmmmmmm. After I'd had my lunch I sat down with the donuts and Joanie as an independent adjudicator and got to work. I knew the urge to lick would be overwhelming and that it would take real concentration to succeed. I could have cheated slightly as they were only small and technically I could have squashed them into my gob without the sugar even touching my lips. However, I didn't feel this would be in the spirit of the thing so I bit through them like a good 'un.

It's amazing how compelled I felt to lick my lips, but I resisted as Joanie will confirm, should she be asked. In total I managed 9 donuts, stopping only because I felt fairly queasy, rather than because I was overwhelmed by the lick reflex. I gave the remaining donuts to Joanie and Shirley who both licked their lips before, during and after eating. Neil had the last one and proudly boasted of how he managed not to lick his lips either. Yeah - try it with 9 of the monkeys buster! See how you get on then...

The book also asks me to dare someone, but cautions that you shouldn't dare someone to do something you wouldn't be prepared to do yourself. Since that only leaves boring things that most people would scoff at I'll omit to bother with this part of the challenge. But I'm giving myself a pink star for the rest of it!

#29 Climb to the Top of a Mountain

2010-03-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

If the weather hadn't been quite so flipping cold and snowy the past few months I would have climbed a mountain recently. Honest! I used to be quite the walker. Did the Bronze Duke of Edinburgh's certificate and everything. I'm not a natural athlete. I was put off physical exertion at school when PE focused on sport and competition, rather than exercise, health and fitness. I would probably have been a lot more interested if we'd done cycling, yoga, aerobics, swimming etc - more individual pursuits, you know the kind of thing. So, that's all just my way of saying that I'm not really that fit, and blaming it on someone else.

Still, I love being outside in wide open spaces and enjoy the satisfaction of climbing a peak, and have climbed a few in my time. Recently a friend decided he wanted to scale the 3 major British mountains - Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon. I readily agreed to join him, unfortunately his timescale for doing this didn't fall into my timescale for doing my 'things to do' so I've trawled through the archives to recall the time the husband and I climbed Snowdon (which in Wales).

There are several routes and we chose the hardest one, the Watkin path. A lot of the first part was stepped which was ok to begin with but I soon got tired. And then freaked out a bit when we got to the last bit which is basically loose scree. My legs were shaking and every time I moved the mountain seemed to shift beneath me. It didn't help that a thick mist had descended and I couldn't see the summit anymore. To cut a long, and traumatic story short, I made it up, helped enormously by the husband's encouragement, and promptly burst into tears (I might be smiling, but I was also blubbing).

Check out how misty it was - no wonder I was scared!

I was proud to have made it, scared by how close I felt I had come to plunging to my death and vaguely bemused by the mass of tourist at the top who were wearing flipflops and t-shirts. It turns out a flipping train runs up the other side of the mountain! What a lot of hassle I could have saved myself....

But, the point is I did it. So, orange star for me and a reminder to do a bit training before the big 3...

#85 Write a Story and Get It Published

2010-03-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

I have mixed feelings about this one. I love writing and, at the risk of sounding like a cliche, am writing a novel in my spare time. I write a lot in the course of my job and studied English Literature at university. So I value the power of the pen. Which is why I ashamed of what I am about to make public. More public than it already is anyway...

When I was off sick my friend Amanda used to send me copies of 'Chat' magazine. These magazines make me chuckle, full as they are of stories with headlines like 'My husband burst into flames!' It didn't take me long to notice that there was also money to be made from the mag. £100 in return for the story about the day that changed your life. £15 for a timesaving tip and £25 for a story written in 60 words. This was too good to pass up and so ... I wrote this little gem -

My dad's reaction sums it up - "Hardly a classic, but then first publications rarely are'

One day I promise to write something more worthy, but in the meantime here it is, worthy enough to earn me a blue star for the book I reckon.

#28 Learn to Do a Party Trick

2010-03-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

According to the book 'a party trick involves doing something no one else can do'. It took me a while to think of anything. Dunc showed me a trick involving spinning cigarette papers on the end of your finger. But as he already knows how to do that, it wouldn't be something only I could do, would it? The book suggests many things, including wiggling your ears. That was when I remembered a 'talent' I have. Touching the end of my nose with my tongue. Oh yes.

Here's a picture of me doing my party trick unsuccessfully:

And here's me doing it properly:

And what it the use of this talent? Well, absolutely nothing. That's sort of the point isn't it? It's just a whimsy to amuse people, fleetingly, at parties. I'll try it at the next one I go to and see how it tickles people.

#92 Have Your Own Plot in the Garden

2010-03-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

I have been lucky enough to grow up with gardens in every house I can remember living in. Except when I was a student in Cardiff. Then we had a concreted yard with a washing line. Function over form I feel. When I was small we had a lovely garden at our house in North Devon. There was a sensible gravelled area for the washing line, a lovely big lawn for us to play on, a vegetable patch where my dad grew potatoes and a huge tree at the bottom which my older brother used to climb. You're picturing it aren't you? Yes, it was as lovely as you're imagining.

My mum and I go to Hampton Court Palace Flower Show every year. It's fab. Loads of gorgeous, aspirational show gardens, stunning flowers to admire and covet, retailers selling everything from artwork to gazebos and, tea and cakes of course. Mum's garden is considerably bigger and better maintained than mine but I do try my best. I don't remember ever having a plot in any of my childhood gardens, but I now have a whole one to myself. Here is a picture:

I know it's not very big, or nice. Bear in mind this is early March so nature is still coming out of hibernation. I confess I don't make as much effort with our little corner of green space as I could. The usual excuses apply - too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed with the general state of it, etc. Mum advocates tackling one bit at a time, so with that in mind I cleared the area around the front of the house this week. This is what it looked like before I got to work:

And this is the result:

A vast improvement, I think you'll agree. Not least because the leaves were starting to rot and go smelly. And if you're wondering what the bricks in the plant pots are for - they're there to stop squirrels from digging our plants up. Rotters they are.

The book wants to know how well things grow in my garden. Well, as we live on a new-ish housing estate our 'soil' is mostly builders rubble with a little bit of local, sandy soil thrown on top. This is something of a hindrance to plants growing as well as they might. I quite like planting bulbs as they can stay in the ground year after year, without needing much attention from me. Tulips are my absolute favourites. Unfortunately we don't get much sun in our plot, and rather too many cats using the area for their toilety-doings. This limits how much we use the garden, which in affects how much time I devote to it. The book also asks how often I tend the garden. As I said before, not as often as I should. However, now that the weather has taken a turn for the better and I've been shamed into publishing photos of my excuse for a garden on the interweb, I can assure you I'll be making a lot more effort. And if there's anything worth photographing between now and the end of the month I'll be sure to update you.

#7 Prepare Yourself for Fame

2010-03-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

This thing to do brings to mind images of 'celebrities' doesn't it? I read recently that school's career advisors are now having to listen to young girls bleat on about their aspirations to become a WAG when they grow up. (For those who don't know, WAG stands for Wives And Girlfriends - of footballers. So, actually it would be impossible to be a WAG as the acronym is pluralistic....) Quite apart from the tragic blow this aspiration strikes to feminism (really ladies, you desire to be defined and identified solely by the man you marry?!) one of the main purposes of being a WAG is to be famous without having to be good at anything. Except shopping and looking pretty.

It appears to me that there are two ways of looking at fame. 1) Fame as an end in itself, regardless of whether you have a talent or skill worthy of recognition (and we can all think of 'celebrities' like that can't we?) or 2) Fame as a result, by-product even, of being an exceptional human being in one field or another. The book doesn't seem to distinguish between the 2 and allows for the reader to become famous in either fashion. Let's assume that I'm not the sort of person who is interested in being famous for the sake of it,(which I'm not, incidentally) but that I will, one day be a household name. The book asks how I predict I will achieve fame. I don't think this is any time to be humble, so I'm going to shamelessly address my talents. I will become the first female whistling aficionado. I'm really good at whistling. The husband loves it when I whistle along to the Coronation Street theme tune. The world is ready for the next major whistling talent and I reckon it's going to be me. So, when will I achieve this fame? 2012 - in time for the Olympics. My whistling will form the basis of the British Olympic celebratory song, and it will go straight to No 1. I will whistle the national anthem at the Opening Ceremony and the world will sing along.

So, how will this fame affect me? Well, I will obviously be rich. All the major recording artists in the world will want me whistling on their tracks. I will have a house in Beverley Hills, for when I need some sunshine. And I will also have a lovely big house somewhere in the UK. Maybe more than one. Why the hell not? The book wants to know how many servants I will have. 2 obviously. 1 to clean and 1 to help me stay organised and on top of all my public appearances. Will I have a stage name? No. I like the one I've got thanks. Which celebrity will I marry? Well, I think I'll keep the husband I've got, he's pretty fab, even though he's not a celebrity. What type of car will I drive? I'll probably have a lush VW Beetle which has been lovingly restored, a Pagani Zonda - cos they are gaw-jus and a reliable old Land Rover for the husband. Pets and children? 2 of each. Rabbit and guinea pig, son and daughter. I mean let's face it, we're pretending here right? I can have what I like!

What title will I be given by the Queen? Lady Helen of Whistleton. Yes, they will have created a place named in honour of my talent. And what age do I think I'll live to? 150. No sweat. Whistling keeps you young.

Here's my autograph - take note, you'll be seeing this a lot when my perfume, clothing and footwear ranges are launched.

#71 Do Something Nice without Being Asked

2010-03-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

Now, I had to remind myself here that this is a children's book. And this is because I've realised adults, or at least the adults I hang out with, are all very nice already. I decided to make yesterday the day I did nice things without being asked. And I have to say, I found it quite difficult. In our office we are always pleasant and considerate to each other. The main way I could do nice things for others today was to basically become the tea girl for the day and cater for everyone's hot drinks demands. I also did a trip to the bins, which no-one ever feels like doing. And no-one asked me to do it. Other than that I couldn't really find ways to be nice without simply getting on people's nerves.

I think I'm generally pretty good at being nice when the occasion calls for it. If someone drops something, I'll stop and pick it up for them, if I see someone struggling up stairs with a buggy I'll offer to help and so on, I'm sure you're just the same so I won't bother going on with all the many ways there are to be nice. I'm actually not sure if it isn't a bit of a shame that the book even has to include 'Do Something Nice without Being Asked' as a thing to do? What does it say about the authors' expectations of their juvenile readers if they think they need to direct them to public spirited acts? Surely children and teenagers are capable of being nice without being told to be? Still, I suppose we can all benefit from a gentle reminder to look out for our fellow man and I will endeavour to continue to take advantage of opportunities to help others because it's just the decent thing to do!

#18 Win Something

2010-03-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

I was kind of hanging on to write this one up in the hopes that I might score a major win on the lottery or something. However, that hasn't been forthcoming, so I have turned my attention to a prior win. Just over 3 years ago I entered an online Sudoku competition. And won.

I should add here that Sudoku kept me sane whilst in hospital. I find it very difficult to read in hospital as there are too many interesting stories going on around me to concentrate on the one on the page. Sudoku on the other hand is diverting and easy enough to stretch me, without taxing me unduly. The book asks if the thing I won was due to skill or luck, and I think it was a bit of both. My understanding of the competition as that you had to get the puzzle right to go through, and from there is was pot luck. Anyway, the long and short of it is that I won £100 in high street shopping vouchers!

Have I won anything else? Well, I once won Employee of the Month which was nice. I also won a ton of gorgeous gardening equipment in a draw at Hampton Court Palace Flower Show. Lots of finely made tools, shame they're all still sitting in the attic waiting for a half decent garden to get to work in. I also 'won' a bin once. I say 'won' because I think it was really a giveaway of a prototype bin. Prototype? Well, it was called a SmartBin and had some fancy pants lid system. The 'win' came with a feedback form which makes me think they were giving them away in the hopes of developing the design. And boy did they need it. I gave the bin to my Mum and it has driven her mad ever since. How complicated do you need to make a bin lid for heaven's sake?!

Winning things is nice. I live on in the hopes of winning something really good one day. Sorry - the husband has just reminded me that I've already won his heart. What greater prize could I desire?

#2 Run up an Escalator the Wrong Way

2010-03-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

I remember the husband doing this in Top Shop once. I nearly died laughing. It looked hard and the husband is considerably fitter than I am. And he was going down an up escalator, which is the easier half of the deal.

In doing many of these 'things' I have discovered that I am in fact a bit of a scaredy cat and am frightened of situations which might get me into trouble. So I didn't fancy following the suggestion the book gives of using an Underground escalator - way too many people and the escalators are, like, really long on the Tube. So, instead I chose a really short escalator in a little used entrance to the Oracle shopping centre in Reading....

It is all of 5 steps in length. I squared up to it, watching the grey metal relentlessly roll towards me, and made a bid for it. I underestimated how much the exercise would mess up my sense of balance. Regardless of the effort of running up a down escalator, made worse by much laughing, my eyes, legs and brain were all registering different things. It made me feel quite seasick and I tumbled towards. This freaked me out immensely as I was wearing my hair down and was gripped with a terrible dread of my hair getting sucked under and some truly gruesome events unfolding. Also, someone was coming towards the escalator, clearly wanting to descend. I was in the way and going nowhere fast. So, I gave up.

Yes, I know I technically shouldn't get a star or a tick for this one, but I did give it a go and I figure, if I couldn't do it there I wouldn't be able to do it anywhere. And I really did try, it's just that it's really hard!

So, I'm giving myself a star anyway, so there....

#97 Learn to Take Great Photos

2010-02-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

I love photos. When I was a teenager I was always the one who took a camera on nights out and then a week later (when the film had been developed) we'd all have good giggle over the captured images. Of course, now everyone has a camera at the ready on a night on the town, provided you've taken your phone out....

With the advent of digital cameras came the dawn of many, many photos. Like hundreds. When someone wants to show you their holiday snaps now it's not a question of one film (24 or 36) or two, it's how many memory cards, and what size. It's a double edged sword. While it's nice that we're no longer constrained by film size and developing costs, and we can instantly see how good the shot is and take it again if needs be, we have created new issues. It can take weeks to see the memories of someone's holiday. When the husband and I came back from our Central American adventure we had literally 1000s of shots for people to trawl through. We knew it would take us hours to sort through them and pick out the best ones for printing and putting into albums, and a year later we still haven't got round to it. And yes, I know - printing? Old school huh?

However, digital cameras also make it really easy to take a good photo. As I mentioned, you can keep taking the shot until you get it right and they have handy settings to make sure the subject is in focus, reduce camera shake, automatic focus etc etc. I managed to take some really lovely shots when we were travelling without having the first idea about photography. So, for this thing to do I thought I'd draft in an expert and really learn something...

The husband's friend Duncan is a proper photographer (www.therollingimage.com). He takes photos using cameras that are bigger than me, almost. And has had lots of his shots published. So, I thought he might be the man for the job.

He kindly agreed to give me a lesson which I thought would involve lots of discussion about composition and arty stuff like that. Instead it was all about apertures and light levels and depth of field and using the crosshatch to get shots in focus, and things like that. I confess I felt a little thick as I tried to take it all in. He was patient though and explained everything thoroughly and then handed me one of his old school (yes, with film) slr cameras, and told me to use up the film. And that was it. I had a camera to use and photos to take. And these are the results:

I'm proud of all of these, but the one Dunc gave me a gold star for is this one:

There were other photos which haven't made the shortlist, for good reason, but overall I'm happy that I took in much of what Dunc taught me and put it to practice with pleasing effect. So that's a big fat tick and gray star for me!

# 87 Learn to Use Long Words (and Drop Them into Conversation)

2010-02-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to have a reasonable vocabulary. I'm not one of those people who likes to throw unnecessarily long words into conversation to flummox people, but I do like to convey myself intelligently when the occasion warrants it.

I sometimes teach other people new words. I used to work with a lovely lady from Germany. I taught her the meaning of the word 'gumption'. I'm not even sure that many English speakers know what gumption is, but she was pleased when she heard a new colleague use it and she knew what they were talking about. I taught Mr Smith what 'obsequious' means today. I defined it as 'being sucky-uppy', which explained it adequately it seems. I taught my boss the word 'obstreperous', to describe my own behaviour it has to be said.

I hate it when people talk about someone being 'disinterested' when they mean 'uninterested'. Disinterested means being impartial, uninterested means being apathetic. It also annoys me when people say 'superfluous' instead of 'superlative', or simply, 'super'. Superfluous actually means unecessary, so if you use it with the intention of giving praise, you are, in fact, doing the opposite. Please, get it right.

I signed up for 'A Word A Day' email recently to help me with this thing to do, and so far most of the words have been ones I already use, which made me feel quite smug, supercilious even, and definitely worthy of a grey star.

#20 Stay Up All Night & #21 Sleep All Day

2010-02-23T11:04:00.000-08:00

#20 - Stay Up All Night
The book suggests having a sleepover and inviting lots of friends round to help you stay awake. I used to love having sleepovers when I was a teenager but I don't remember ever staying awake the whole night.

You see, sleep is extremely important to me. I tend to be tucked up by 10.30pm these days and am truly murderous if I get less than 9 hours shuteye. I also need to start the day properly - e.g. with a cup of tea, gentle coaxing and someone else seeing to the alarm clock. So the idea of staying up all night is not appealing at all. There have been a couple of occasions recently where, due to factors outside my control, I have been wide eyed from dawn til dusk.

The first of these occasions was a particularly miserable night in hospital after major bowel surgery. Despite what I'd recently been through it wasn't pain that kept me awake that night but a combination of snoring by other patients, generally not being able to get comfortable due to the after effects of the op, the plastic mattress and pillow causing me to feel sweaty and grim and, probably, the cocktail of drugs I had consumed. I slept for precisely 15 minutes that night. I asked for sleeping pills the following night. They were good.

The second time I was denied my glorious zzzzzzz's was in Guatemala. Me and the husband visited this gorgeous country as part of a Central American tour and one of the top attractions is Tikal, the vast Mayan temple complex. We had been told that the sunrise tour is the best way to see the ruins so we decided to camp on site the night before. We had bought hammocks in Nicaragua and were keen to get some use out of them so slung them from the frameworks on the 'campsite' next to the site.

It gets dark quite early there and, being in the middle of nowhere, the electricity went off at 9pm, so we turned in quite early. Things started well and went downhill. The husband discovered he was slightly too long for his hammock. It was colder in the jungle than we had anticipated. And a lot scarier. We knew there were jaguars in and around Tikal. We didn't know if it was them that we could hear snuffling around beneath our, ever so slightly vulnerable, derrieres. We were paranoid about mosquitoes being on the wrong side of our mosquito nets. And so on. Every now and again one of us would hear a creature that was too close for comfort and we'd whisper 'Are you awake?' to the other. Invariably the answer would be a tremulous 'Yes...you?' 'Yes...did you hear that?' 'Yeah,...what was it?...' 'I don't know....I can't sleep...' 'No, me neither' 'What time is it?' 'Erm...about 1.20am...' 'Oh, is that all?...' It was a really long night. So I can safely say I have stayed up all night, but I didn't enjoy it and I won't be doing it again. No thanks.

#21 Sleep All Day

Now, this sounds more like it! I don't find sleeping difficult at all. And I've certainly spent many days more asleep than awake when I've been recovering from an operation. The book actually asks you to literally sleep all day by simulating night time and doing as many soporific things as you can. This sounds a bit much, and is another reminder that I might actually be too old and boring for many of these things. I'm not sure my husband, or my boss, would be much impressed if I failed to achieve anything in a day, except sleep. However, I sleep as much as I can and squeeze every last drop out of the night. I have been woken on the train by perfect strangers when my stop is approaching. I even fell asleep at my desk, with my eyes open, last week.

People underestimate the importance of sleep. Too little and you can, literally, go crazy. People who work night shifts for large parts of their life actually have a shorter life expectancy. And it never fails to amaze me how infrequently people seek medical advice when they are having trouble sleeping - it's important people! So, I have given full consideration to both being awake and being asleep and my conclusion is this: they both have their place, but, baby, I'm a sleeper!!!! You?

#39 Be a Genius

2010-02-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

The book says 'Everyone has the potential to be a genius', which must include me!

The book includes 5 IQ test type questions and I'm pleased to say I answered them all correctly. However, as I've pointed out before, this is a kid's book, so I didn't think my success really indicated any kind of genius on my part. So I decided to get a 2nd opinion and contacted Mensa for a home test. Mensa are the high IQ society. The word Mensa means 'table' in Latin, I'm not really sure what that has to do with intelligence or anything else for that matter...maybe I'm not smart enough to understand?

Anyway, the home test came through and was a booklet of questions that covered language, maths and logic. I had a good go at it, all by myself I might add. The deal is, you pay them to mark your test and if you get a good result you are invited to take a monitored test. If you get the right result in that you can join Mensa. I'm not really bothered about belonging to an organisation that strikes me as vaguely smug and elitist, but as they are the experts in IQ so I sent the test off and got the results back this weekend.....

...cue drum roll....

My home test mark was - 155
Percentile score, top - 1%.

I think this means my score puts me in the top 1% of the population when it comes to intelligence! I'm not sure what the 155 means - perhaps an estimated IQ score?

Either way, I'm pretty impressed and certainly feel able to give myself blue/green coloured star for this one.

#67 Build the Ultimate Sandcastle and Have Fun in the Sun

2010-02-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

This one would have been really easy when I was a kid, as I was brought up in St Ives, Cornwall, and our house practically overlooked the beach. Many a summers day was spent playing in the sand. These days however I live in Hampshire. And not in the coastal part. In the distinctly uncoastal suburban part of north Hampshire. Rubbish.

So, I had to wait for a weekend by the sea instead. Which I've done this weekend. I've come down to Weymouth with the husband and lots of chums for a celebration of the husband's (& his bessie mate's) birthday. So, we took a leisurely stroll down to beach and constructed a pretty mean sandcastle. Ed masterminded the architecture and I took direction....

The key to a good sandcastle, it seems, is to use damp sand and pack it down well.

And then to be gentle with the bucket removal so as not to damage the overall structure. One thing is for sure - sandcastles are fragile things. We had a few subsidence incidents and had to shore up the mound on more than one occasion.

I'm not sure it's necessarily the ultimate sandcastle, but I couldn't have made it even half as good without Ed's design insights and Emily's inspired additions so- kudos to you guys and a big fat tick for me!

#84 Lobby Your Local MP

2010-02-16T14:28:00.000-08:00

I don't really know that much about politics. I always vote - even if I'm not sure I understand how it all works. The most confusing election I ever voted in was the Welsh Assembly elections where there was 2 or 3 ballot papers, numerous votes on each and countless candidates for parties I'd never even heard of. In the end I had to resort to voting for the names and logos I liked - it was as good a method as any...

So I consulted my sage old Pa for advice and he gave me a few pointers. I also researched my chosen topic on the interweb so that I would sound like I knew what I was blathering about, resulting in me sending the following letter to my MP, Conservative Gerald Howarth.

Dear Mr Howarth,

I am writing to you to establish your position on the Hunting Act 2004. I understand that David Cameron has promised a free vote if the Conservative party win the next General Election. I would like to know which way you would vote on this issue?

I am opposed to hunting with dogs as I believe it to be unnecessary and cruel. I consider the arguments put forward by pro-hunt supporters to be unfounded. Findings by the University of Bristol (2001) and The Veterinary Record (2000) show that hunting foxes with dogs does not significantly control fox numbers and furthermore that fox predation is not a significant cause of livestock or game mortality. I believe that in areas where foxes do present a risk to other wildlife, or the local environment, there are more effective methods of control.

The Burns Inquiry also accepted that hunting with dogs seriously compromises the welfare of deer and concluded that there is little, or no, need to control hare numbers and where they are hunted it is done for recreational purposes. I consider this practice to be immoral and unacceptable and would urge you to consider voting against a repeal of the ban.

The hunting ban has not always proved effective in halting the activity of hunting groups but I believe it is important to maintain the ban. Repealing the Act would send a message that hunting is acceptable and 75% of the British public do not agree with this. Please consider signing the EDM 79 which is opposed to any attempts to repeal the Hunting Act.

I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on this and look forward to a response in due course.

Thank you very much.

Yours sincerely
Helen Farrell

I have yet to receive a response but I will be sure to update you when I do. I quite enjoyed the process of lobbying and would encourage others to do the same if there is an issue you feel strongly about. After all, our MPs work for us and are in Parliament on our behalf so let's put them to work!

Tick! Green star for Hellie!

#91 Send a Valentine Card

2010-02-14T03:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know, I know, Valentine's Day is just a big commercial exercise designed to make Tesco and Hallmark even richer, and if a few people fall in love or have their hearts broken in the process, well, so be it.

Except I don't actually think that. Many people also think Christmas is over-commercialised, and they're probably right. But you don't have to buy into it, if you don't want to. I love Christmas. I love buying presents and sending cards, and I don't think (although I could be wrong) but, I don't think I do those things because I've been brainwashed and am incapable of doing anything unless corporate giants have told me to. I think I do them because they are nice ways of letting people know you care about them. Yes, ok, you don't need Christmas or Valentine's Day to show people you care, but where's the harm?

Valentine's Day romantic celebrations started in the 15th century, and I'm pretty sure Hallmark weren't around then. Not much is really known about how or why it began but my money's on people just liking the idea of encouraging the spreading of a little love and happiness, and I'm with them.

Despite having been together for 11 years or more, me and the husband still exchange cards on Valentine's Day, so I can tick this one off the list too!

5 'things' I have decided not to do!

2010-02-13T09:10:00.000-08:00

At the risk of sounding Old & Boring, I have decided not to do certain challenges laid out in the book....

#1 - Send a Message in a Bottle
The book suggests putting a written note in a bottle and then sending it on it's way out to sea, or a river. I really like the idea of sending a message and asking people to get in touch if they find it, but I'm not really cool with the idea of littering our waterways with unnecessary glass or plastic. I have thought, in vain, of an alternative way to achieve the same end, but as I'm yet to come up with one I am going to pass on this challenge.

#27 - Turn Back Time
The idea behind this one is to mischieviously wind all the clocks in the house (and workplace) back an hour to jigger up everyone's day. Sounds like a wheeze. Except, I'd get into lots of trouble. And not the sort of trouble you get into when you're a kid. I mean proper trouble. Imagine if I picked a day when my boss at work had an important funding meeting and missed it because I was playing silly buggers....or if the husband was an hour late for a cycle meet or race, god....that doesn't bear thinking about. No, I think I probably am too old and boring to be prepared to live with the consequences of this one.

#50 - Pretend to Be Ill Convincingly
I'm sure I actually did do this when I was a kid, plus I have really been ill convincingly - I mean legitimately ill, so will that do?! I'm just not happy about swindling a day off work for no good reason, am too darn honest!

#88 - Blame Someone Else
As above really - although I don't distinctly recall ever passing the buck, I'm sure I did. I remember not owning up when I broke my Mum's perfume bottle, thus spilling her perfume everywhere. That's kind of the same thing. As a grown-up I am, mostly, in the habit of accepting responsibility when I foul things up. And I don't think it's nice to blame others, except maybe in jest, when it's obvious it was me and it's not really a serious thing anyway.

#96 - Glue Coins to the Floor
I'd actually quite like to do this one, but I'm just not sure how to without irking someone big time. I asked the husband if I could do it outside the bike shop where he works, but apparently the owner has already banned the staff from doing it (which makes me wonder how many times they did it?!..). There would really be no point sticking money to the road by my office as I work in a very well-healed office complex (our office was donated to the charity by the lovely owner, John) and I'm sure no-one who works there would be seen dead picking money up off the floor. Besides, there never seems to be anyone around. Just lots of swanky cars....
When I lived in Cardiff as a student the mischevious boys next door used to enjoy dangling £5 notes on a fishing line out of the 1st floor window. Then just as a passer by would stop to grab it, they'd reel it in, much to our infinite merriment. If I could recreate this in some way I would - I will continue to ponder....

If anyone can think of a clever way I can actually do any of these things, without causing major ructions, please do leave a comment to let me know how! In the meantime I'm going to write them off as a bad lot and concentrate on some of the nicer ones!

#95 Make a Unique Milkshake

2010-02-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

Since the advent of the truly awesome milkshake bars in places like Brighton and Bournemouth, where you can create your own milkshake from literally 100s of different ingredients, I think it's pretty hard to come up with anything unique. However, I thought about things that I like and that might work in a drink and devised this.....

Hellie's Peanut Butter and Bramble Jelly Milkshake!!!

I have loved peanut butter and my Mum's bramble jelly (made with apples and blackberries) on toast since I was a kid. Would it work in a glass though? And without the toast? And with milk instead? As I wasn't certain of success I bought some supermarket bramble jelly as I didn't want to risk wasting any of my precious Mummy Farrell supply.

So, I poured a glass of milk into a blender jug, added a desert spoon of peanut butter and slightly less bramble jelly and whizzed the lot together. And then tentatively tasted it....and it's yummy!!! Surprisingly so! And I can see it becoming a post-cycle ride pick-me-up too - carbs and sugar and liquid and tastiness all in one!

I'm sure it would work with different jams, I might even try it with honey (another toast classic) - let me know if you discover any other winning combinations!

Yessir - so lipsmackingly good I'm giving myself a blue star!

#63 List the Things Your Parents Say They'll Tell You the Answer to When You're Older

2010-01-29T11:12:00.000-08:00

I've really had to think about this one. At first nothing sprang to mind but on further reflection I remembered asking my Mum an awkward question when I was about 4 or 5. I may even have been younger than that. We were on a surf camp that my Dad used to organise in North Devon and Mum and I were in the shower block. I spotted what must have been a sanitary product or condom machine and asked what it was for. Her reply? The immortal - "I'll tell you when you're older." At the time I honestly thought I'd hold her to it but I obviously forgot. Until now. And by now, I think I know the answer...

As I couldn't recall anything much I asked both Mum and Dad if they remembered me ever putting them on the spot. Dad thought the very concept was highly amusing. He said, and I quote, "You were not the sort of child who would have been content with being fobbed off with 'I'll tell you when you're older'. No chance." I take that as something of a compliment. My Mum said that I had "an enquiring mind." I take that to mean I was a pestering sort of sprog that probably never shut up.

I did one of those learning style tests recently and discovered that I'm a pragmatist. That means I like to ask questions to help me understand things - I like to know the how, what and why of the thing. So, I can well believe that once I had a question in mind as a kid I would have badgered on until I felt my query had been satisfied from every possible angle. So thanks Mum and Dad for providing me with answers. It either means that I learnt many things earlier than other people, or I was fed a truckload of cobblers and may now be incorrect in believing the earth to flat and the sky to be blue because Winnie The Pooh painted it so.....

#60 Learn to Live without Something You Love for a Week

2010-01-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

I didn't like the sound of this one much. One of the perks of being an adult is that, by and large, you can get away with indulging yourself in the things you enjoy. Kids tend to need permission to do almost anything they actually want to do, as it's probably something inappropriate for kids.

So, I confess, when I started considering this I tried to think of things that I like but wouldn't really miss that much. So, chocolate was out. I did give up chocolate for Lent one year when I was a teenager. I didn't enjoy that much, but by God, I've never had a better Easter. Proper gorged myself.

What else do I like then? Well, I like sleeping and generally lounging around in my jimjams, but I didn't think it would be that sensible to live without sleep for a whole week and it's too cold to go without the jammies. So, the search went on.

I also like playing on the internet and since our broadband at home went down for 5 days this week, that almost ticked the box, but I can access the web at work so got my fix there. I also tend to need to use the internet at work so going without it for a week may have caused problems.

The book suggests going without TV. Impossible. We've got a serious amount of dvd box sets to get through. Computer games and junk food are also things the book proposes I give up - I'm not really fussed about either of them so that wouldn't have worked.

Then it came to me. Text messaging. I'm really bad for sending a quick text in place of calling and actually speaking to people. One of my New Year's resolutions was to be more sociable and see more of and talk more to my friends. So, I decided to give up sending text messages for a week and call people instead. And it worked! In fact, as the days went by I barely missed the old text message and I'm definitely going to continue avoiding sending them wherever possible.

And, now I'm thinking about it I went without decent chocolate AND tv AND lounging in bed in my jammies for 3 months when I was travelling through Central America so I'd already more than satisfied the criteria for this one - what a shame I can't give myself 2 blue stars for this one!

#43 Do Something Charitable

2010-01-27T13:17:00.000-08:00

This is a 'thing to do' that means quite a lot to me...

When I was younger my Mum started a Friends Group for a charity that some friends of ours had founded - Children's Hospice South West. They set the charity up to provide respite care for families in the South West with life limited children, like themselves. They needed to raise £1 million to build the hospice and, with the help of groups like ours, did it. They have since gone on to build a second hospice and are in the process of building a third. Being part of something like this right from the beginning proved to me the power that groups of people, motivated to the same end, can have.

Since then I have maintained an interest in volunteering and fundraising and, of course, I now work for a charity too. I'm not trying to sound pious and righteous, it just makes sense to me to get involved in this stuff. We all know it would be nice if the government provided hospices for terminally ill children and catered to the needs of people suffering from awful illnesses and those living in poverty, or those suffering abuse at the hands of others, but in reality it just can't happen. And even if, suddenly, they had the means to solve all these problems, I think a lot of people who volunteer for causes like this would lose out. Volunteering brings people together and provides opportunities to develop communities, skills, friendships and gets stuff done too!

At Ostomy Lifestyle we send out a quarterly newsletter to around 2,500 individuals. We can't afford to get a mailing house to send these out for us so I bribed our loyal and jovial band of volunteers with pizza and cake (see previous blog) and 11 of us achieved in a day what it would have taken the 3 of us in the office a week to do. We spent a whole Saturday folding, stuffing and sticking and then filled up every post box within a 20 mile radius. I was completely bowled over by the effort everyone put in and the feeling of satisfaction was immense. Plus, whilst we were busy filling envelopes we chatted and caught up on the news and generally had quite a nice time.

I have also challenged myself physically to raise money for charity. I did the Race for Life a couple of years ago and that was horrible. I'm definitely not built for running and I injured my knee training, but I raised some money for Cancer Research UK, so that's ok. I also cycled the width of England on the Coast-to-Coast route last year with a team of 8 other riders.

It was really far, and really hilly, and really rainy, and really, really cold, but between us we had a good laugh and raised more than £4,000 for Ostomy Lifestyle. We earned every money, but I genuinely enjoyed the experience and am even planning something similar again.

I don't know what motivates other people to volunteer and fundraise but I do it because it makes me feel good. Yep, no true altruism here. I get a nice feeling by using my skills and energy in a genuinely constructive way. If you don't already help out somewhere, do consider it. It's great fun and if you pick a cause that means something to you it's even more satisfying. And if you really don't have the time or inclination to volunteer, please think about making a regular, or one-off, donation to your favourite cause. I know it's a cliche but every little really helps.

This 'thing to do' is one that I'm going to keep doing so I definitely think I can give myself a green star!

#33 Learn to bake a cake

2010-01-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I used to help my Mum bake cakes. In fact when I was really little I used to pretend to make pies by rolling out scraps of pastry with my mini rolling pin and Mum would let me bake it along with what she was making for our tea. I wish I could say this was the start of a Nigella-esque existence for me, but it wasn’t. OK, so I know that to make your basic sponge you want 4oz of flour, 4oz of sugar, 4oz of marge and 2 eggs. Plus cocoa powder if you’re making chocolate cake. Easy enough to remember. But I can’t say I have ever used that knowledge to bake anything. I made some fairy cakes a while back but that was simply to have fun piping chocolate fudge sauce on the tops (and into my mouth). The husband is a bit of a fitness fanatic and as a consequence we don’t have cake or biscuits in the house very often, so baking would be pointless. Except when you work for a charity and have volunteers to bribe.....

I had arranged an envelope stuffing session to get our charity newsletter sent out at the weekend and decided to bake a cake to keep the troops sustained. I didn’t use the 4,4,4,2 combo but went instead for a carrot cake recipe which didn’t use marge (I know! Crazy....) but used bananas instead. Hmmm..
Well, this is the baked cake pre-icing (please note used cake tin as evidence that this was a home-spun effort!

And this is the iced cake with me adding chopped walnuts...

And is le gateau avec walnuts. Tres bien non?!

I can’t pretend the cake didn’t suffer from the lack of marge. I think it did. It had a good flavour but was a little on the dry side. Seemed to go down well with the volunteers though which was the main thing. TICK! And a bluey-grey star for me.

#53 Succeed At Something You're Bad At

2010-01-20T14:09:00.000-08:00

Plenty of things sprang to mind for this one - singing, knowing when to stop talking, getting out of bed in the morning, being nice to people when I'm tired, wrapping presents, yup, I'm bad at all these things.

However, one skill is particularly pertinent just now. I have just started my second term of silver jewellery making, which I love. I'm fine with the hands on bits with piercing and texturing the metal etc, but I stumble at the design stage. Not because I don't have ideas - I get plenty of those, but I'm not very good at putting those ideas down on paper. In fact I'm rubbish.

I went to a class called 'Drawing for the Terrified' a few months ago. The lovely teacher was so enthusiastic and I could tell she was determined to be positive about everyone's attempts. But you know when someone is being positive in the face of all adversity, and they're struggling?! Yeah, that was what like when she came to look at my sketch:

"Ooh, so, erm, yeah - I like it! Erm, which bit did you find the most interesting to draw? Because I think you like the texture of the flower. Am I right?"

"Well, yes, but the shape is all wrong isn't it?"

"Oh, don't worry about the form, you're going for texture!"

"And have I managed it?"

"Well, ummm, oh yes! Maybe just try not trying to find shortcuts to get certain effects, just draw what you see. Do you know what I mean?"

"I didn't capture the texture did I?"

"Remember we all see differently! So, umm, yes, lovely.....who else has had a go?..."

In short, I felt a little better about just having a go but didn't come away feeling that I had unleashed a new ability.

So, I decided to ask the husband for a drawing lesson. He's pretty handy with a pencil and used to be a teacher (of Geography, not Art, but he drew maps and stuff so that still counts).

He found this cute picture of a bunny. I like bunnies.

Then he told me to draw it. Without giving me any instruction. Now, it has taken a lot of guts for me to post this first attempt up. No sniggering please, I know it's not very good, that's the whole point.

So then we analysed it and decided it wasn't very good. In fact, it looked more like a mangy gopher than a cute little bunny. So, the husband explained how he did his, which was rather splendid. I got jealous and thought about jacking the whole exercise in but agreed to let him coach me. And this is the result:

It's still not Tate material perhaps, but a definite improvement wouldn't you say?! In fact I'm really rather proud of this drawing, quite possibly the best I've ever done. Not only does it actually look like the thing it's based on, I find it surprisingly pleasing to the eye.

I have to say thank you to the husband for his forbearance on this challenge. There was an argument (because I used a rubber and that is FORBIDDEN), and I stomped off upstairs to sort the laundry.....and generally make a noise so that it be known I was cross. Then I came back down, apologies were made and we agreed to try again. There were other fractious moments, but we overcame in the name of art. Obviously I haven't succeeded in being gracious about my shortcomings or taking criticism. But the book only said I had to succeed at 'something' I'm bad at, not 'somethings', so I think I can tick it off and award myself an orange star!

#26 Help Save the Planet

2010-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

The book has a checklist for this one. It asks if I recycle:
Paper? Yes
Glass? Yes
Plastic? Yes
Tin? Yes
Cans? Yes

We're pretty lucky where we live as our council provide us with 2 wheelie bins, one for general household waste, and one for recyclables which covers just about everything, except glass, but they gave us a separate box for that. We don't even have to sort the stuff out, just chuck it in willy-nilly. I've been thinking though, if we didn't have it so easy, would I still recycle as much? True, we used to keep the glass and take it to the bottle bank before we got the glass collection box. But I can't honestly say I'd make a huge effort to keep all our paper, cardboard, plastic, cans, etc if we didn't have a bin for it right outside the front door. Primarily because our house is just too small. If we lived somewhere more spacious I could see myself being all fussy about having well organised boxes to sort it all into.

The book also asks how often I:

Forget to recycle? Almost never. As I said, it's so easy to do it, I can feel really virtuous without having to exert myself at all!

Turn lights off when you leave the room? Not as often as I should. The husband frequently nags me about this. What generally happens is I leave one room to fetch or do something in another, with the express intention of going back to the first room straight away, therefore leaving the light on. And, I confess, I sometimes get distracted in the new room and don't end up going back to the first room for some time. We have got round this to some degree by using energy saving light bulbs all over the house, which, these days, give out a nice bright light. What we haven't managed to get round is my general dizziness....

Leave power switches on? Sometimes. Now, I'm a bit confused by this one. Do they mean leaving things on standby? Because we don't do that. However, if they mean just leaving things plugged in with the plug point switched on, then I have to say we do that a lot. Is that bad? Surely if you're not using something and it's not on standby it won't be using any power, will it? I would be grateful if you could help me out with this one!

Ask for a lift in the car when you could walk, bus or bike it? Often.... (hangs head in shame). I will admit to being pretty bad on this one. I drive everywhere. I cycle a lot too, but only for recreation, not usually for trips that would otherwise have been made in the car. In my defence I do sometimes get the train to work, but as I don't live within (sensible) walking distance of the train station that involves using the car to take me to the station. And getting the train doesn't make economic sense as the fares are so blooming high. As a couple we are fairly good only having one car, and the husband cycles to work to limit the daily joint commute. Occasionally I will walk to the local shop if we need something, which is about a mile away, but only if it's not something we need in a hurry. OK, I will try and be better on this one....

Fill the kettle with more water than you need? Rarely. Apart from the energy saving aspect, if you overfill it you just have to wait longer for your cup of tea. Boo to that.

Leave the tap running when you're not using it? Rarely, if ever. Got this one nailed I think. And we're not even on a water meter!

The book also wonders if I've ever persuaded someone else to start saving energy or recycle? I'm sure I have. I remind people at work to use the paper recycling bin and am asking you all now to make steps to recycle as much as you can - and this doesn't just mean giving your rubbish to the council to recycle. What about keeping the fronts of greetings cards you have been given and using them as postcards? Or re-using carrier bags, as bags for your next shopping trip, or as bin bags? And don't just chuck clothes you don't wear anymore - give them to a charity shop, or clothing bank. And if you're clearing stuff out, why not see if someone else wants it? Use www.uk.freecycle.org to give your things a new home.

And it asks if I have ever campaigned for a greener world? I remember getting a letter from Sting when I was about 10 or 11. I think he was writing on behalf of the Rainforest Foundation and I think I'd written to them as part of a school project. I was well chuffed with this letter. I had never heard of Sting before but knew he must be someone famous and I didn't care that the letter was a facsimile, it was addressed to me, and I don't think I got much post at that age. More recently I have campaigned to save the rainforests by signing up to The Prince's Rainforests Project (www.rainforestsos.org) - which is headed up by Prince Charles, who I think is a jolly good egg.

So, I've done all the above, I've watched 'An Inconvenient Truth' (and have to say it left me LESS convinced about climate change, which I know wasn't the aim), I have offset my carbon emissions when I have travelled by airplane, I make an effort to buy Grade A energy efficient appliances and we virtually never chuck food away (good grief, the mere thought makes me shudder), but - I could probably do more to help the planet and thinking about this has given me an idea how I could complete another of my things to do!....

Do post a comment for other ideas how I (and others) can help save the planet, if you've got any good ones.

Green star for me - how appropriate!

#15 Fart and Burp

2010-01-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

The book says: "Farting and burping show us our bodies are doing a good job. They're as natural as the wind that blows, so they should be celebrated, not frowned upon."

Hear, hear! I couldn't agree more - we're far too prudish about our bodily functions in the UK. However, I haven't farted for 6 years now. This is not because I am delicate and lady like, oh no! And if I could fart with gay abandon, believe me I would.

The truth is my digestive system was surgically altered as a life saving treatment for Crohn's disease. My large intestine was removed because it was ulcerated and inflamed to a dangerous degree. Consequently my bowel was diverted out through an opening in my abdomen - this spout is called an ileostomy. You can see a picture of one here:

www.ostomylifestyle.org/ileostomy.php (I don't think this works as a hyperlink, you might have to copy and paste)

So, my poo (and farts) are collected in a bag that I wear on my tummy. Many people might think this isn't very nice, I beg to differ. It's much nicer than living with crippling inflammatory bowel disease, or being dead. Harsh but true. On the whole I barely give my ileostomy more than 5 minutes thought a day. I won't deny there was an adaptation period after the operation, but given the choice between the bag and the diseased bowel it is NO contest - bag every time. I can't think of a single thing that the stoma or bag prevent me from doing. In fact, I genuinely think I value my health, relationships, lifestyle and body far, far more than I ever used to. Now that IS something to be celebrated.

There's more than 100,000 other people with stomas (colostomy, ileostomy or urostomy) in the UK. You probably know someone with one - whether you realise it or not. It's surprisingly common but people just don't talk about it. Shame really. Passing the residue of the food you've eaten is as essential a part of living as eating the food in the first place. I heard a truly horrifying statistic recently - on average 50 people die of bowel cancer every day in the UK. But that's not the horrifying bit - 92% of bowel cancer deaths could be prevented if symptoms were caught earlier. In other words, 46 of those 50 people could survive. If it is caught early enough bowel cancer is the easiest cancer to treat and survival rates could be much better. Bowel cancer is the 2nd biggest cause of cancer death in the country, but quite definitely not the 2nd most talked about. Please, spend 10 minutes reading about the signs and symptoms here:

www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/home/bowel-cancer

But, more importantly, don't be afraid to talk about it! It's just poo at the end of the day. We all do it - into bags, down the loo, in bushes, whatever - it's all the same. Absolutely nowt to be embarassed about. I've used my unsqueamish attitude to all things poo-ey to help others adapt to living with stomas. I'm the Helpline Services Manager for Ostomy Lifestyle, the UK's stoma support charity. Great cause. You can do your bit by not shying away from poo or wee related conversations. Or donating to Ostomy Lifestyle. Or both!

So, that's a long way of telling you that I don't fart anymore.

Burping is another matter. The book reckons we burp 15 times a day. Hmmm, maybe...I can't say I've ever counted but I'm not shy about it. In fact a friend recently told me I wasn't 'really like a girl' due to my burping (and swearing - see previous post) habits. I think this is a little unfair. I know plenty of girls who burp just as much as me, more in fact. Again, it's a natural by-product of digestion. I'm not into gratuitous belching, or doing it unecessarily loudly after meals as a 'compliment to the chef' (yeah right...) but when you need to allow digestive gases to be released, go for it I say.

Think I've earned my purple star for this one!

#22 Invent a Secret Code

2010-01-13T10:35:00.000-08:00

This 'thing to do' is actually quite straightforward - simply invent a secret code for communicating with those smart/bored enough to work it out!

So - here you go....

Every letter is represented by another letter and these substitutions remain constant throughout. I have included every letter in the alphabet in the message.

If you think you've worked it out leave your answers to the questions as a comment!

Ofdc jy wigu xdkigujct xvdkigu ndz?
Fdkt wig tktu mvdwtp cft swvimfiet?
Ofjlf qii dejzdv pi wig vjrt htyc?
Fio agjlrvw lde bidcy uge?

Good luck!

#41 Learn to Like These Foods

2010-01-11T13:48:00.000-08:00

'These Foods' being:
- broccoli
- shellfish
- lettuce
- Brussels sprouts
- carrots
- smelly cheese
- coconut
- peas

Please remember that these challenges are from a kids' book....

Ahh, broccoli, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...stir fry, pasta dishes, Sunday lunch, broccoli and cauliflower cheese, curry, fish pie, almost anything really - we love a bit of broccoli.

Shellfish? Well, I came to this food group late in life. In fact I recall it clearly. The husband and I were in the Canary Islands in 2004 and ordered sea food paella from a lush beachside restaurant. We figured that the place to initiate me in the ways of the crustacean was somewhere that kept everything alive until the last possible minute. So there I tried mussels, squid (ok, not shellfish I know but scary nonetheless), clams and big ol' prawny jobs. Quite liked them on the whole. But, the best was yet to come - lobster. Oh god yeah. Tried these bad boys in Nicaragua. Sooooo fresh, soooooo cheap and soooooooooooooooooooooooo yummy. I was almost gutted I liked it as I'll probably never be able to afford it again.

Lettuce - well, yeah, I mean, is it possible to not like lettuce? It doesn't really taste of anything does it?...

Brussels sprouts - ah! Now, in the name of my 101 things to do I actually tried these for the first time 3 1/2 weeks ago - on Christmas Day. And I honestly don't know what all the fuss is about. Someone, somewhere clearly started a smear campaign against this harmless vegetable. I don't know why but I'm determined to get to the bottom of it. I confess I was a victim of the anti-sprout propaganda, but I thought they were very tasty and feel the time is right for a revival. So, I urge you, if you too have treated sprouts unfairly after years of bad press, unfounded rumour and misunderstandings - then please, think again. They're really nice.

Carrots - I can remember eating carrots as a kid. In 'risotto'. My mum used to make us a kiddy-risotto which wasn't like the grown-up ones I now enjoy with arborio rice, white wine and the such like, no, kiddy-risotto involved standard rice, peas, carrots, sweetcorn, sometimes bacon I think too. And possibly tomato ketchup. Which I think may have been a Hellie-variation on the dish. Yup, I've always been a creative eater. So really kiddy-risotto was a way of getting us to eat lots of veggies. And it clearly worked. So yes, I can say I like carrots.

Smelly cheese - my sister reckons she would rather live without chocolate than cheese. I think that's a bit steep. I couldn't honestly say that I could live without chocolate. It's pretty great. But we're not here to talk about chocolate, we're talking about cheese. Which I also like, just not as much as chocolate. See, I really shouldn't have even mentioned chocolate, as now I can't stop writing and thinking about chocolate. But cheese, yes - I like cheese as much as the next man does (but not as much as my sister does), and I like smelly cheese best of all actually. The honkier the better I say. I have spent many nights in hospital as an adult and have been 'enjoyed' hospital 'cheese'. It came with the supper pack - 'cheese', butter and 2 Jacobs crackers. That's it. Except it wasn't really cheese - it was yellow rubber. That had sat next to some real cheese in the fridge so that it vaguely smelled of cheese, but tasted nothing like it. That put me off mild cheese forever. Smelly is the way forward.

Coconut - that which comes inside a Bounty bar? Yes please! Don't remember ever not having liked Bounty bars.

Peas - seriously? Do kids not like peas? I used to eat garden peas out of the tin! These days I do prefer frozen peas but back then I was adamant - tinned peas. Yes sir.

So, I can safely say I have learned to eat all the foods listed above - TICK! Blue star for me!

# 66 Have a Snowball Fight and Fun in the Snow and #79 Build an Igloo

2010-01-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

Let me state for the record - I hate being cold. Like, really hate being cold. It makes me grumpy and whingy. So I don't relish winter weather. I know a lot of people dislike the winter because of the short daylight hours, but that doesn't bother me - as long as it's not freezing cold.

So, imagine my glee at the current 'Big Freeze'. Yay.

I live in Hampshire and it started snowing in earnest here on Wednesday 6th Jan. The ferocity of the snowstorm was such that I was essentially snowed in on Thursday. This irked me somewhat as we were neck deep in a major funding application at the charity I work for and I could really have done without being stuck at home. This did, however, offer me the opportunity to get out have 'Fun in the Snow' - and allow me to tick another couple of things to do off the list.

So - snowball fight? Yup. Fun in the snow? Well, the husband pushed me over into a snowdrift. That was 'fun' in the way that having snow down your pants is fun. (i.e. not really fun at all). Snow angel? Yes...

Sledging? Nope - bit flat round here and we don't have a suitable implement for sliding around on. Snowman? We started to build one and got distracted by thing to do #79 - Build an Igloo.

This is what an igloo should look like:

(Picture courtesy of Mr Duncan Smith)

I'm told the way to make them is to fill a box with snow and compact it and then tip it out - much like building a sandcastle. So, nothing like the way we approached the challenge. Which was to simply start piling snow up in a vaguely circular shape. And then get bored because the feeling has been lost in the hand appendages and the realisation has struck that building an igloo takes ages and is relatively pointless.

This is how far we got (and don't ask what's going on with my bandy arms - they're freakish I know and I don't understand why either):

So, all in all I think I can tick both of these off. I know I didn't actually build an igloo but I got as close as I'm ever likely to, thanks very much.

2 orange stars for me!

#70 Spend Christmas in another country

2010-01-06T02:25:00.000-08:00

As today is the 12th night and the day that we take all our Christmas decorations down, I thought I'd mark it by looking at thing to do #70 - Spending Christmas in another country.

Well, we spent this last Christmas in Wales, which is kind of another country (well, a Principality actually) but we spent the Christmas before in Belize which is perhaps more worthy of discussion here!

Our time in Belize formed part of a 3 month exploration of Central America, starting in Panama City in October 2008 and ending in Mexico City in January 2009. We didn't particularly choose to be in Belize in time for Chrimbo, it just kind of worked out that way. We stayed in a town called Placencia which is at the end of a peninsula so surrounded by beaches. As we weren't going to have any presents to open we treated ourselves to a lush apartment for the festive period.

We started the day feeling a bit fuzzy round the edges after cocktails and live music at a beach bar on Christmas Eve, so, after phoning home and speaking to our families we went down into the town to meet up with travelling buddies, Kate and Bec. We spend the rest of the day playing games at our apartment in proper Christmas fashion. Except we had beans on toast for lunch which wasn't very Christmassy. But surprisingly yummy! And anyway we were booked in to a nice restaurant for dinner that night with another couple we'd met travelling through Belize, Dave and Carol. So the 6 of us dined together and celebrated Christmas with almost nothing familiar or festive around us! No turkey or roast potatoes for us. Bec is from Australia so she was after her traditional dinner of lobster, and we felt it would have been rude not to get involved!

It was a nice day, but really nothing like Christmas at all. Which I think was a good thing. Me and the husband are both lovers of a good family Christmas and we found being so far away from them a lot harder than we anticipated. Being in a Caribbean country with no decorations or carols meant there were less opportunities for nostalgia and comparison to creep in, so it didn't feel as poignant. Had we been in Austria or somewhere with a more traditional feel I think that would actually have been harder. As it was we were but a few weeks from seeing everyone again and it meant we enjoyed this last Christmas even more!

So, I can tick off thing to do #70 with a pink star!

#16 Make a swear box

2010-01-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make....I can be something of a potty mouth. I'm not proud of this but I have been known to express myself using words of a less than savoury nature. I know it's the last resort of the eloquently challenged, but sometimes only effing and jeffing will really cut it.

Normally this isn't an issue as my family and husband are pretty tolerant and indulge in the practice themselves occasionally. No, my verbal habits only become a problem when I'm at work. I work for a small, new charity and as such there is often only myself and my colleague Neil in the office. And he's from the West Country too so doesn't even notice my language. However, when there are others present I become acutely aware of my apparent inability to speak as a lady should. So, making a swear box seemed like a good chance for me to bring my tongue in line. And since I said the proceeds would go towards the charity Neil suddenly has started noticing when I cuss and happily prompts me to pay penance.

So here is my swear box:

Since I made the box I have been making regular contributions and I can honestly say that knowing I have to put my hand in my pocket each time I'm tempted to be coarse has made me more aware of what I'm saying. Hopefully the end result of this will be that I cause less offence and find more interesting ways to express myself. Admitedly there are still times when events overtake me and I have to let rip with an expletive, but I've been having fun re-discovering words like "Crikey", "Fiddlesticks" and "Sausages". Yes, "Sausages" - try it!

I'll keep the box going until the end of the 101 things to do challenge whereupon I'll reveal how much money my bad language has made for a good cause.

Christenings, Christmas and...crikey - it's 2010 already!

2010-01-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

So, it's been over a month since my last post and my last 'thing to do'. That's not good since it means I now have just 86 days to complete 96 'things'. Hmmm... better get cracking.

Why the long break then? Well, my lovely god-daughter Ruby was christened on 6th December and I set myself the rather ambitious target of stitching a birth sampler for her as a Christening gift. It looked lovely when it was all finished and framed up, but it did rather absorb me. When I finally raised my head above the parapets after that I saw that the Christmas onslaught had begun. 3 weeks of shopping, festivities, travelling and general distraction later and I realised that I had neglected my challenge rather.

Well, don't you worry. I'm back in the saddle now and won't be getting down 'til I'm done. Watch this space....

#62 Cook a Meal

2009-12-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, this is a kid's book, and so the bar is set a little low for some of the challenges...

We share the cooking in our house. I'm lucky that James is a really good cook and looks after most of our meals. There are, however a few things that I do quite well (curries, lasagne & chilli mainly) and so I take my turn. One of my absolute favourite foody delights are roast potatoes. I love them. And I knew I'd found the right man when he made me roasties and there were better than my Mum makes (sorry Bubs!). Because he does them so well I just never bothered trying, until tonight. (This is me nervously about to tip wet potatoes into hot fat, oooh-er..)

I thought this challenge should be just that - something I hadn't done before that might test me. Turns out there isn't as much mystery to making crispy golden roasties as I'd thought and, although I've got a way to go before mine are as good as James', I think I did ok.

See for yourself...veggie roast, roast potatoes, green beans, broccoli and creamy courgettes.

Bit of gravy as a finishing touch....

Mmmmmmm.....yummmmmmmmmm.

Thing to do #62 - tick! Pink star for me!

#3 Make an Origami Crane

2009-11-28T14:04:00.000-08:00

The book has a set of instructions for how to make an origami crane, but I couldn't understand them. My frustrated mutterings made the husband laugh but were making me increasingly cross. In the end I resorted to finding footage of a pro doing it on YouTube. Our internet connection is a shade on the slow side but it was worth it. At last, I can unveil to you my Origami Crane. Enjoy 'Thing to do #3'!

#99 Be Vegetarian for a Week

2009-11-26T14:13:00.000-08:00

Will 14 years do?!

People do invariably ask me why I'm veggie when they find out. If I'm perfectly honest it's because, when I was 15 we saw a gruesome video in Home Economics, that was probably made by PETA, or Linda McCartney, that laid bare the way animals are kept and slaughtered for our delectation. Plus, it was what all cool girls in the 4th year were doing.

People always ask me what meaty delight I miss the most and, hand on heart, I can't think of anything. Typical conversation - "Oooh, what about bacon sarnies? You must miss those - I bet the smell gets you!" "Erm, no. The smell of cooking pig flesh actually makes me feel a bit nauesous." "Really? What...really? What about Big Macs then?" "Ok, I'm leaving now. Bye bye."

I genuinely don't understand why people feel the need to cross examine non-meat-eaters about their choice. Is it really so hard to comprehend? The mass consumption of cheap meat is responsible for the clearing of vast swathes of tropical rainforest, probably losing us the opportunities to discover weird and wonderful cures for cancer and the like. Meat is hard for the human body to digest. Advice for avoiding illneses like heart disease and bowel cancer often includes cutting down on red meats. But, I don't want to start sounding as though I'm preaching. I am more than happy to allow those around me to eat what they please. I don't question the motives of meat eaters or try to convert people and do get a little tired of people's curiousity over what I chose to eat. Maybe it makes meaties feel better about their own choices if they can pick holes in mine. I sometimes catch a gleeful look in a critic's eye when they discover that I eat fishy marine type foods (which makes me a pesco vegetarian apparently), like, so what?! Seriously - since when did it have to be all or nothing? (And by the way - I'm not really that bothered if that doesn't make me a 'proper vegetarian'.)

The simple truth is, I never really enjoyed eating meat when I was younger and I don't miss it. Plus, I'm yet to hear a convincing argument for switching back.

I will concede though that the attitudes I've mentioned above are being less common. More and more people tell me that they're eating less meat and enjoy veggie food, which I'm pleased about, when I stop to think about what other people are eating. Which isn't often, except for now.

Ok, I feel happy that I can tick thing #99 off the list, and I'm giving myself a green star!

#4 Learn How To Tell When Someone Fancies You (And When They Don't)

2009-11-24T12:18:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd start with a relatively straight forward looking one to ease me into the adventure. It was straight forward, but it also left me feeling a bit dismayed...

For this challenge the book explains a little bit about the tell-tale signs an admirer gives off. I confess I didn't even really look at these to begin with and dived straight into the multiple choice quiz. I was smugly confident that, having snaggled myself a live one some 11 years back, I must already know what was what.

Well, it turns out I do, my husband just doesn't display any of them. Hmmmm......

Qu 1 - Do they tease you a lot?
a)Yes, we're always making friendy jibes at each other.
b)Sometimes - if I do or say something stupid.
c)Very often - and sometimes it makes me want to cry.

Correct answer? a)- I'm sure you'll all agree. However, the answer most applicable to my fella is b).

Qu 2 - How often do you catch them gazing at you?
a)A lot, and if I catch their eye, they go red and look away quickly in embarassment.
b)Sometimes our eyes meet but they look lost in thought.
c)Occasionally. They're usually pointing and laughing too.

Correct answer? a). My answer? c) Am starting to fidget at this point.

Qu 3 - Do their pupils get bigger when they talk to you?
a)Yes, and I've noticed they seem to glance at my lips a lot when I'm talking.
b)Sometimes - especially if it's a bit gloomy.
c)They never talk to me so I wouldn't know.

Correct answer? again a). My answer? b) or - d)Who the hell notices something like that?!

Qu 4 - How often do they send you text messages?
a)A lot, and often for no particular reason or just to ask me what I'm up to and who I'm with.
b)Quite often. It depends how much I text them.
c)Never. But that's because they don't have my number.

Correct answer? a) of course (I'm starting to think this isn't a very sophisticated quiz). My answer? c) but that's because we live together, so I don't feel too bad about this one.

Qu 5 - Do they seem to find excuses to sit or stand next to you?
a)Yes, they're always asking to borrow stuff or making out that they need to talk to me about somthing.
b)From time to time - especially if they need help with something.
c)No. They say I smell.

Correct answer? a). My answer? c) :-(

Qu 6 - Does anyone else think this person fancies you?
a)Yes, their best mate told me they do.
b)A mutual friend thought we were really well suited and that we'd definitely get together eventually.
c)Yes, my best mate thinks I'm in with a great chance.

Correct answer? C'mon you don't need me for this bit anymore. My answer? c)! In fact, the same friend who bought me this book was also responsible for prodding me in my future husband's general direction in a night club in Cardiff. My word, she has some explaining to do.

Qu 7 - Have they ever invited you out with them?
a)Yes, they've asked if I want to come round for tea before.
b)They asked me to their birthday party, but there were a lot of other people invited too.
c)Not really - although they did once ask me to 'Go and take a running jump.'

My answer? Well, none of those really, although I do recall a lot of our early dates featuring other people...

Qu 8 - How do they behave when you're alone together?
a)Nervously. They seem to play with their hair or ear quite a lot and laugh at all my stupid jokes.
b)They're fairly relaxed and normal.
c)They ignore me.

My answer? A complete mixture of all three answers. Except for a). I think just plain 'Nervous' would be more appropriate. Apparently I scare him. And only this morning he confessed he couldn't decide if he thought it was cute or worrying when I get 'that mad glint' in my eye.

By now you've probably guessed that:
a)all the correct answers were a).
b)I need marriage counselling.
c)this is a stupid quiz.

Go on - try it at home and see if you do any better!

Still, I've done 'Thing to do #4' and I gave myself a pink star for it.

Good night. I'm off to cry into my pinot grigio and see if anyone notices.

#36 Start Your Own Blog!

2009-11-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

Flicking through the book to choose my first thing (task, activity, job, adventure??? I came across '36 - Start Your Own Blog'.

That means I can tick my first thing off the list! Hurrah!

The book even has star stickers that you can use when you complete something - I chose a blue star for this one.

Wow, could it be this easy?.....

The game is afoot!

2009-11-23T05:16:00.000-08:00

Ok, so, I will turn 30 next year, on 30th March - hence 30 on the 30th. I know this runs counter to popular belief, but I'm not having a crisis about this. In fact I finally feel that my age and my personality are in alignment.

But....that's not to say that I don't still get the urge to be mischievous from time to time....

My friend Jenna gave me a book some time ago that was meant to help me pass the time while I was on long-term sick leave. The book is called '101 things to do before you're old and boring'. Unfortunately being ill prevented me from making the most of it, but as 30 could be considered 'old & boring' (not by me I hasten to add) I'm going to try and do all 101 things before then.

Those of you who know me will be able to imagine how much the idea of ticking things off a list appeals to me. This is because I'm a 'list person'.To-do lists, Christmas card lists, Christmas gift lists (both for myself and other people), grocery shopping lists, ambitions lists, things-that-bother-me lists, etc etc. As well as lists I like timetables - exercise timetables, job rotas (which I'm sure made me deeply unpopular with my siblings when we were younger) and schedules for the week ahead - that kind of thing. So, having a list of things to do within a certain time frame suits me down to the ground. (And yes, I'm aware that this admission already puts me firmly in the 'old & boring' category)

I'll be able to do some of the things on the list quite easily (e.g. cook a meal - well, the book is aimed at kids!), others may take some time (e.g. learn to juggle - which will make me unpopular with my husband who can't abide any of those circusy skills which are often favoured by 'hemp wearing, dread-lock sporting crusties'), and others have me scratching my head at the prospect of being able to do them at all (e.g. be a genius....), but I'm going to have a go and this blog will document my attempts.

I haven't yet decided how best to start - do I pick a thing at random? Do I start with the one that I can do most easily? Or the thing that will take the longest to achieve (this would be the smart way given I have a time limit)? Or should I start at #1 and hang the consequences?

I might need to recruit friends, family, colleagues and possibly perfect strangers to help me in my mission and I might need to deceive people along the way (apologies in advance) - consider yourself warned....